Character Concept | Csilla

I. BEGINNING

The first thing Csilla was aware of was a heavy, rough weight upon them and the chill of sweat. Their head pounding, they opened their eyes.

There was a cool pool of silver moonlight on a gleaming floor.

Fear leapt into their throat and they searched their mind for anything to tell them that this was familiar, but the bed- just their size- had never been lain in before. They were certain. Tall walls weren't natural. Weren't home. The clear windows and shining floor made them think of frozen lakes and winter branches with ice.

A voice came from across the room, startling Csilla's painful flurry of half realized comparisons away.

"It's alright. Once you get used to it. It was strange for me, too."

Csilla searched the darkness for the voice.

A small figure with bright hair and warm skin leaned forward. They had their own bed in the room, and more beds could be seen some with sleeping figures, other's empty.

Csilla swallowed, brow furrowing. Something was wrong- not right, it wasn't alright.

The comforting voice said, "You're a new Neophyte. They said they couldn't make you a new name- you had to use your old one. It's probably why you're confused."

Csilla tried to speak but only a whimper escaped.

"You're going to have to do better than that if you're going to convince them you're worth the effort." The child scoffed, "Go back to sleep, breakfast is at dawn." The child moved back, adjusting themselves as if so disappointed they were upset they had to return to sleep.

Csilla said, "I'm-" they bit off their apology. "I'm Csilla. Are- are you my friend?"

The child stilled, and spared them a glance. "Neophytes don't have friends. You'll see. Mind over Emotion."

Csilla felt as if they were falling, though their hands became heavy, too heavy to grip the blanket they wanted to cling to.

The voice returned, somewhat small, "I'm Rhea."

Csilla didn't examine their thoughts and carefully decide why or how they knew there was a thread extending between them. They said, grabbing onto that thread, "I'll be your friend Rhea, I don't care if Niffetes don't have friends. We're still Csilla and Rhea."

There was a small, muffled laugh from beneath the scratchy blanket.

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The dawn came cruelly as blankets were whipped away and beds folded into themselves. Csilla awoke against the hard, cold floor.

The shock and discomfort caused tears to come pouring out. Their hand, pudgy and soft, bruised.

A voice cut through: "Accept, Identify, Release. You."

There were three short clicks. Draping, thick robes swished across the floor, hiding what surely must have been needles made of hammers- Csilla thought. There was a stick, too straight to be a walking stick, that slammed down, much like a hammer.

Csilla looked up, wiping their tears off quickly- sensing disapproval, something that they intuitively wished to avoid.

The smooth half face of a person frowned down at them. Strange tendrils and what looked like a myconid pattern of lace domed across their shoulders. "They get smaller every time."

The stick beat lightly around Csilla's wrists, not enough to bruise or sting. "Not even a decade it seems- soft." The stick holder tsked.

Csilla quickly got to their feet, looking at the others lined up and standing straight, their faces carefully blank and looking at nothing.

Rhea's eye's found theirs and their eyebrows rose minutely. Csilla did their best to copy, but instead found the face of the smooth, harsh voice.

"Now, accept your situation. Accept your emotional reaction. What is it?"

Csilla twisted their head.

The mouth was painted in red, and hit every letter in the word. "Quickly."

"I'm...I'm upset?" Csilla tried.

The robes moved up and down, almost as if the person under the robes sighed, but it was gone too quickly for Csilla to be sure, "No." They snapped towards a child, "Targus, exemplify."

A child stepped forward, patches of grey glassy skin marking their arms. "My dream last night caused me to be afraid, I was panicking about the spider books coming to find me in the last library lab. I was afraid because I did not want to be in pain. This fear is impermanence. I am to be in pain if I do not know my spells, and I am impermanent."

The voice turned back towards Csilla, "Correct," they said softly.

As if on cue, the neophytes in the room echoed, "Fear is impermanent, I am impermanent."

The voice was measured, "This is Neophyte number 823, Csilla. Teach them...enough. Address me as Mistress Mind. I hope you last long enough to make your investment worth it."

So, Csilla learned more in their first lesson than what was the goal of the first teacher.

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Csilla realised they were too young, or small or something- and that the teachers paid them more attention than the others, because of a reason Csilla did not know, but the other students envied them for it.

The classes were small, not even ten students in their grouping, but for some reason it was difficult to speak or meet with the others. The reason became clear soon enough.

Csilla struggled to keep their posture straight on the stool in the classroom filled with glass implements that shuddered and tinkled if one moved too much or too suddenly.

Professor Elements wore a long black coat but possessed hands that appeared to be too long. Taught bone strings arched from their elbow to their wrists. Their face was cloudy, nearly an orb so absent were their features.

"Today we will be understanding the basics of the transference of energy.” The voice was scratchy, and Csilla thought it was quite grumpy though the cadence was dull. "Normally, we would not be performing magic in the very first class for some. But you have been paired with qualified students."

Csilla turned to look at Rhea, beside them. Rhea slid their eye over and gave a proud twist to their mouth.

“First, we explain fundamental concepts. Second, Tier 1 Neophytes will try basic transference of energy. Third, Tier 1 Neophytes will be observing Tier 2 Neophytes, and discussing their actions with them.”

Csilla looked nervously at the small circle beneath a square of black cloth. They peeked. A lump of meat sat in a glass dish. They swallowed and covered it quickly.

Rhea bit their lip and tried to slap at Csilla's hand but the movement must have attracted Professor Elements attention, "Neophyte 783, Rhea. We will begin with a review. What is the most basic requirement, for the smallest segment, of life?”

Rhea answered, "Time, is correct."

“Correct. Perhaps your partner can answer what time is, since you have failed to include that in your response?”

The class shifted in worry.

Rhea was as cool as ever, "I do not know if they know, Professor. They have only been to the safe parts of the library, and I have not discussed their reading with them, and therefore I cannot give an answer to what they know."

Csilla hesitated, trying to scan the board, trying to recall the pages that they had tried to read.

"Quickly. Your answers determine whether your partner and yourself go to the hungrier segments of the library, or the team across from you does."

Csilla tried to summon any wetness for their mouth to work, “Motion?”

Professor Elements tipped their head down, “Are you asking a question or stating an answer?”

"Time is energy, allowed to be in motion."

"Would you stake your life on it?" The question held a weight, seen in the yawning shadows of the giant moving bookcases down beneath the bridge were the newer books were held for the untried and untested Neophytes. The Professor was commanding, unmoving.

Csilla in a fit of stubborn pique, raised their chin. They seized upon the answer in the haze of a name uttered beneath stars and fern bushes. "Yes."

The Professor continued emotionlessly, "Correct-" as if anything less would have been failure. "Now, what is entropy's connection to time?"

The review questions continued until the practical.

Csilla was supposed to take the energy from the alive flesh. It was unnerving. There was no brain, no nerves, just a clump of flesh. It bled.

They were to prick their finger, access the energy, then sever it to plug into the alive flesh, drain it, and place it in the dead flesh, but not so much that the live flesh would die. With Rhea at their side, it was nearly easy. But something slithered and crawled under their feet, winding themselves around their ankles under their desks about half way through the lesson. It jostled Rhea so badly that the glass implements chimed and the desk shook.

Csilla shoved their hand into the position where Rhea's was, knowing that if Rhea failed as a Tier 2 Neophyte, that the punishment would be far worse than theirs. They had promised to be Rhea's friend. And something instinctual moved them.

"Those of you who have been distracted by the snakes have failed, and will be tending to the library." The Professor came to stand at their desk, and looked at the hands. "Neophyte Tier 1, you have moved too slowly. Your progress is ... acceptable, however."

The Professor turned sharply to the desk where Targus of the glassy grey skin patches and Ihman sat, tense and frozen. "How will you serve King Renton if you cannot do this much. To improve your skills you will be going back- yet again- to the bowels of the Evocation library."

It had been more than three days, but Csilla still remembered Targus' explanation of fear of spiders. The movement under the desk must have felt an awful lot alike. Csilla remembered something large and hairy that crawled on their hand. They had been afraid too, once, before the creature had waggled it's little arms.

Csilla stood, "I, too, want to be strong. It was my mistake, too. My newness doesn't excuse my performance."

Rhea flinched, just barely. The Professor flexed their long fingers. "Then all four of you."

Something a little like pride seeped out of the voice.

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Rhea was mad at Csilla, that was for certain.

"Rhea, I'm sorry, I thought I could go instead of Targus."

Rhea said nothing, holding the staff with the green crystal to feed to the evocation books.

"It's sort of fun, though, it feels familiar down here." Csilla sniffed.

Of course, the feeling of adventure didn't last very long, but Csilla still found their wending way down to the bowels and somehow Rhea was always convinced to go with them.

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Classes progressed with training in mental exercises and in the fundamentals of Arcane studies, but in the hours after the formal lessons Csilla enjoyed the studiousness of reading with Rhea. Often they would be bothered by competing pairs, and Rhea and Csilla would talk often about the coveted rooms that Apprentices, Magi, and even Guardian positions had. Desks with blankets were their secret getaways to study the basics of magic to find their talents.

It was allowed as long as they could find a way- but the trick was keeping the secrets. And their blanket fortresses under desks, squirreled away by means arcane and clever, were just that.

"Do you think you have a talent, Rhea?"

"Absolutely. How- dare- you." Rhea affected Mistress Minds inflection.

Csilla rolled their eyes, "Identify, Rhea."

Rhea stuck out their tongue, "It's not common... so that's why we haven't found ours yet." Rhea looked at Csilla with a bolstering fist.

Csilla scrunched their nose and batted Rhea's fist away. "Sure, we need better books then- these are all done."

Rhea popped the last cherry into their mouth, "And so's the cherries."

Csilla gaped, smiling, knowing that cherries were something Rhea coveted beyond all other snacks. "Ey! Those were so hard to get! I had to do a Apprentices scum collection for hours!"

Rhea shrugged, with a tightly pressed smile, "I was hungry! These practical tests are brutal- and besides you were purposefully not having any and I know you love going out in the rain. You're just trying to get me to get those toffee wafers from Mr. shark eyes."

Csilla shook their head, "Not again."

"I know." Rhea started stacking the books.

But the tests were coming, whether or not they had more than oatmeal to eat, and mental acuity in pair with dangerous evocation magic was something that Csilla had difficulty grasping. It seemed that Csilla was not a generalist, and had no real special talent-- which was a clear disappointment evinced in the teachers lessening interest. They knew enough now to know that it made their position insecure here- and what would Rhea do without them? For that matter, where would they even go? This was home.

Csilla wandered the library halls on volunteer patrol, running their hands along the coiling books that sighed and seethed. Some parts of the library smelled of wood and earth and they loved the small pools of sunlight that would float by on occasion. They curled up and with the books piled high around them like archways almost familiar they found the studies of time and physics to be rather calming. The further they chased it, the deeper they knew they had to go.

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They approached Rhea with begging hands, elbows on their bed.

"Pleeeease?"

Rhea gave them a glance over their book, and deadpanned, "Aren't you supposed to be studying evocation?"

Csilla pondered.

Rhea rolled their eyes, "Ugh- you're thinking those thoughts again. Honestly, it's like you're never looking in front of you."

Csilla grinned. "Are you afraid?"

Rhea tightened their mouth. "No."

Csilla turned up their head, "It's not good to lie. I'm afraid. It's nice. I never know what I'm going to find."

Rhea huffed in disgust and grabbed their staff. "Fine. Let's go."

Csilla jumped up, "Cheru! Ey, you gotta say it otherwise you'll be in the hotseat like Kell."

Mistress Mind had been heard beyond a door saying 'I do this because if you do not, you risk more than the failure of the spell. If you cannot embrace and visualise the consequences of your success then you will not anticipate your failure.' It was a harsh reality for sepia colored Kell.

With this- Rhea not admitting they didn't want to go down to the Keeper's branches of the library- Csilla was adamant. They didn't want to lose the soft approval and reward of Mistress Minds acceptance at the other side of letting go.

Csilla had mastered the mantra after all, 'Accept, Identity, Release.' But others it seemed still had difficulty. It did not bode well for them- Arcane energy did not take kindly to uncertainty. Evocation magic especially.

Kell's partner had disappeared one day, and it was treated with normalcy save for Kell's shaken demeanor. Rhea had said that sometimes disappearances happened during Testing. It was hard to remember Kells partner. But the fact remained that Kell would not accept they were afraid, and everyone knew it.

The older Apprentices were more tight lipped than usual about the process of testing.

Down in the bowels Rhea and Csilla met the first Gate Gaurdian. A glass giant figure with spines protruding from their head and runes that bound them to the library pillars. It sat in the pool of light from the ethereal arcane light that hung in this portion of the library.

Csilla and Rhea cautiously approached. Protocol, if accessed, could be used- the trick was finding the protocol. There were no rules if you knew how to break them.

Csilla approached, "Iet veita loa kerir- emei revet"

The giant glass head moved and turned to look at the two. Csilla and Rhea gasped. The intensity of the gaze brushed against their minds.

Rhea said, "It's- they're alive."

Csilla held out a hand, a key appeared, but their eyes were affixed to the figure. The glass figure blinked and turned to a book, waving them forward.

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Csilla was in the dappled part of the library- having accepted the chance to work with the Apprentices who were selected to accept deliveries of paper, leather and book merchants convinced they had something worthwhile. A cat that had snuck in from the street level. It had smiled at them, Csilla swore, and ran off. Being less needed at the front, Csilla had gone to get it.

"No one else is supposed to be in here!" Csilla hissed.

The cat merely flicked it's tail and trotted down the halls.

Csilla trounced after it, but it froze just as it was supposed to turn. There was an odd smell in the air- the sweet scent of lightning just before it struck.

Csilla dove over the cat as the library exploded. Pages and books burst off shelves and flew. Sounds like ripping air and screaming flooded though in earth shattering quakes.

Papercut like shards of glass, heavy books fell but Csilla held onto the cat and held out their hand attempting to halt time. But they were too panicked. They latched onto the soft fur and weathered the needle sharp claws.

"Accept."

They might die. They might not be able to save the library. The cat. Rhea would be alone.

"Identify." They were scared to end. "I am impermanent." So they might as well do something.

"Release."

They started the motions and there was a pull. A great gravity that dragged them to their knees. Books slowed, and the sound ceased.

Mist, not wet but icy cold flooded into the shelves. A figure with horns and a red veil that marked them as a Apprentice to be Magus.

"Well done." A black cat sat in the figures arms.

Csilla stood and walked forward. Books were scattered, piled in heaps on the floor. The cat in their arms calmed.

Csilla asked, "Who are you?"

The Apprentice turning Magus said, "I am here. And I can help with putting the shelves back."

The cat's leapt out of their arms.

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Mistress Mind had sat them down in their hall and spoke to what happened. They were instructed once again to find comfort in discomfort and be empty to receive information.

"Someone was incorrect today. They placed the library and those who keep it in peril. It was a betrayal. The system of our library worked, and the knowledge has survived. This knowledge gives purpose, for it allows motion and change."

It had never been stated in so plain a term before.

"If you are attempting something that you are not certain of, and you allow that uncertainty to take hold, you will never be able to succeed. You must lose your ego and become your action."

Mistress Mind left them in contemplation.

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Many questions went unanswered despite Csilla's persistence in asking why, but the time of testing came and evocation had to be used on another student.

And Csilla had not learned how to spark flame in blasts.

A Neophyte stood across from Csilla, and Csilla found that they did not want to anyway- but Rhea was on the other side of the room, and there had to be a way.

It was their final lesson as a Neophyte and both Rhea and Csilla made Apprentice- though Csilla was less the color of a eventide sky and Rhea's hair had gone.

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